Short Humor
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I’m a humor and satire writer whose work is published in places like The New Yorker, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Points in Case, and Slackjaw.
I enjoy mocking performative masculinity and fitness culture among other things, and I’m a fan of nerdy wordplay, the Oxford comma, and the rule of three.
Selected Work
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When It Happens (McSweeney’s Top 25 of 2025)
It’s Me, Wikipedia, and I’m Ready for Your Apology (McSweeney’s Top 25 of 2025)
Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
Brainstorming Notes of the Typical Male American Spy Novelist
Wow, Trump Has Already Fixed So Many Problems That Definitely Existed
Based on Our Election Forecast, We Are Completely Sure Anything Could Fucking Happen
Final Exam for the Class “What a Presidential Candidate Can and Cannot Survive, Apparently” Taught by Howard Dean (with Nick Morgan)
The Mainstream Media Doesn’t Want You to Know This Thing I Just Learned From the Mainstream Media
Everything a Barber Could Do During a Haircut Before I Speak Up (with Patrick Coyne and Jason Garramone)
Nutritious Additions to Our Elementary School Lunch Menu That Are Definitely Not Just More Pizza (with Nick Morgan)
Predictive Texts for the Conflict-Averse (with Caitlin Kunkel)
I’ve Optimized My Health to Make My Life as Long and Unpleasant as Possible
It’s Me, Teddy Roosevelt, and By “Man In The Arena” I Didn’t Mean You, Spencer
I Just Want to Start Lifting Weights Without Getting Red-Pilled
You Have Failed Our Dog Adoption Vetting, But Have You Considered Having a Child Instead?
I Am a Stryker-X Assault Backpack, and This Airport Lounge Is an Insult
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